Sam Winchester is a character from the action-adventure fantasy horror American television show ‘Supernatural’ that aired from 2005 to 2020. He is played by Jared Padelecki, who has also played various characters who have possessed Sam including Meg (a demon), Lucifer (an archangel, Sam is his fated true vessel who Sam says yes to in order to play out his plan to save the world by overpowering Lucifer and wrestling control of his body back to throw them both in the cage and thus stopping the apocalypse, and also in an alternate future where Sam says yes to Lucifer and Lucifer won the war against Heaven and release the Croatoan Virus) and Gadreel (an angel, pretends to be Ezekiel and shapeshifts into Dean to convince Sam to say yes to possession in order to heal Sam’s injuries and save his life however once the others find out this deception he is forcibly expelled from Sam).

For a full character summary (including spoilers) here is his Supernatural Fandom Wiki page.

It’s interesting how much I love Sam now, because when I first watched the show as a teenager, I preferred Dean. I was depressed and angsty and Dean matched my angst I suppose, but since getting back into the show I realised how much I related too and connected with Sam, and also got frustrated with Dean’s treatment of am at points.

Part of the reason I had this Sam-liking-epiphany is seeing queer coding in Sam (unintentional of course since this is Supernatural). Usually, Dean is the character people put queer readings onto, and I never saw anyone ever consider this of Sam until I got back into the show as an adult.

Sam is the black sheep of his family who are disappointed in him for leaving them, for leaving hunting, and trying to have a healthier life. His father was abusive towards him and his brother, including thinking of Sam as a monster and convincing Dean to do the same, even instructing Dean that he may have to kill Sam. I have so much respect for Sam for him managing to leave his abusive household and he’s a inspiration for me to do the same. And I get upset when I see fans call Sam selfish or self-righteous for wanting a life away from hunting, for wanting to cut off his family, for wanting a personal life and privacy because he’s not evil for wanting these things. He deserves these things, as does everyone.

Sam is referred to as a monster and an abomination by multiple characters for two reasons. One, before he was born his mother, Mary, made a deal with the demon Azazel to bring Sam’s father back to life and without realising had given him permission to feed Sam his demon blood, which he did when Sam was a baby and then killed Mary. This demon blood made Sam into a ‘special child’ and gave him telekinetic, precognition and demon smiting powers. And two, he is the destined true vessel of the archangel and devil, Lucifer, who he accidentally released from his cage in hell.

Sam deals with a lot of self-hatred, especially in the earlier seasons when discovering about the demon blood he was fed as a child, in a way making him not entirely human. He is referred to by others as “unclean” and ‘an abomination, he himself says he’s always felt different and impure, even since he was a child. And despite Sam’s kindness, his compassion, his intelligence, and his strength at being able to overpower Lucifer while Lucifer was possessing him and taking control of his own body to throw himself (with Lucifer) into the cage and saves the world… He still continues feeling like he let his family down, that he’s still a disappointment, and in my opinion other characters do not do enough to convince him that this is not true and I want to hug him.

There are instant parallels to draw there with LGBT+ kids knowing there is something different about them and feeling ashamed of it, feeling unable to speak about it to anyone even their own families out of fear of being thought of as a freak, and Sam’s feelings about himself. And Sam’s always been the more feminine of the two, always takes pride in his appearance and his hair, was on the receiving end of being called ‘gay’ as an insult, and him having magical powers in the earlier seasons is a often portrayed as a more feminine power versus Dean only using guns and physical weapons.

I didn’t realise or know I was trans and autistic as a kid, and getting back into Supernatural as an adult and seeing Sam talk about feeling like there was something wrong with him as a kid, him feeling like a freak, all because of things that are outside of his control, that are not his fault, that he did not choose (being fed the demon’s blood and being born as Lucifer’s true vessel)… I can relate too all of these things but in regards to being LGBT+ and neurodivergent.

Sam deserved better. I wish so badly that Sam had been accepted more by the other characters, that they are supported him more, that they’d told him he wasn’t unclean and impure and wrong. I also think it would have been cool to see Sam, and everyone else, accept Sam’s magical powers and we’d gotten a the cool contrast of Sam fighting with magic and Dean fighting with guns. But I have a lot of headcannons for Sam I like to think about, like him exploring himself more when at university and having a more alternate dress style in comparison with Dean, and being a trans man or genderfluid but of course those were never going to be canon in the show.